Paul Lindenmaier

I am pleased and proud to share that on Wednesday, February 1, all Middle and Upper School students gathered to recognize National Girls and Women in Sports Day.  Organized by PE teacher and Sixth Grade advisor Gail Heady, this year’s event was especially meaningful as it was 40 years ago that Congress passed Title IX, a landmark civil rights law barring gender discrimination in education. While the law applies to every facet of education in schools that receive federal aid, it has become especially recognized for expanding athletic opportunities for women.

“Education is the most effective way of remedying discrimination. Thus, National Girls and Women in Sports Day is not just a day to celebrate the achievements of women in sports to the exclusion of the achievement of male athletes. It is a day where males and females focus on (1) the importance of remedying past discrimination against women in sports, (2) the benefits of sports participation for girls, and (3) addressing the myths that have kept both boys and girls from supporting girls’ sports participation.” Women’s Sports Foundation

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How do we become people who live mindful lives? Mindfulness is defined as being aware, attentive or careful in how we treat others and ourselves. Imagine families and schools filled with children who are routinely aware and considerate of themselves and others in an attentive and careful way! Imagine kindness and compassion driving the way we raise our children and treat others! How would this happen? It happens when the adults in the lives of children become mindful themselves.

The effects of adult modeling on the lives of children are enormous and cannot be overstated. Children are incredibly attentive by nature. They observe everything around them. They are natural imitators of what they see modeled in their lives. This is, in large measure, how children learn to speak, walk, read, write and interact with people in the world. The language adults use around children, the tone we take with them, the way we relate to other people in front of them, the kindness (or lack of it) we exhibit to one another all make up the models we give our children about how to live a mindless or mindful life. The problem with children being excellent observers of adults is that they are inaccurate and terrible interpreters to what they observe. So a child absorbs all of what we collectively do, and then they sift it through the consciousness of an immature child-like mind that lacks experience and context for what they see, and thus children make lousy interpretations of what they observe in life. Children create distorted impressions and misinterpretations of what is happening as a result of their inability to place what they see modeled into a mature context. Unfortunately, many children do not openly share their misinterpretations of life with us — they create them unconsciously, silently inside of themselves as they attempt to make sense of their world, and then they act out their interpretations in ways that often cause parents and teachers to worry and be concerned about them. Life is full of examples of how children (and adults) play out misinterpretations of what they thought was happening in a particular situation or circumstance.

What this means for us as parents, teachers and a larger society focused on raising mindful children is that we must be careful and mindful ourselves about how we live in the presence of our children. We must not only be good models for our children but also provide accurate, conscious, clear interpretations of what is happening for our children so they can understand how and why life unfolds as it does. We must talk with our children to help them understand the various interactions and situations that arise in life. And, more importantly, we must listen to our children to understand how they are silently interpreting (or misinterpreting) what is happening (from their point of view) in their lives and help them sort it out in ways that are accurate and mindful, kind and caring of each other.

We cannot leave the job solely to social media, television, Internet and peers to provide the context of interpreting life’s meaning for our children. We cannot leave children to their own private, internal resources to make sense of the world around them and expect them to move toward mindfulness. We have the obligation, the duty and the responsibility to engage with children, talk with them and listen to them. When we listen and talk with our children in a mindful way, with the intention of moving them toward living a life of increasing mindfulness — increasing attention, awareness and care for themselves and others — we give our children the gift of a mindful life. What can you do — today — to help a child see a clearer model of mindful living in you, in how you speak, in how you relate to others and in your kindness and compassion? When you live a mindful life in the presence of any child you give him or her the gift of mindfulness in a powerfully authentic way.

Mindful children come from being in relationships with mindful adults.

Lou Tenaglia is an educator, educational consultant, teaching coach and private counselor based in Doylestown, PA.

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A recent Education Week article written by Sarah Sparks affirmed for me the value of BCD’s structure as a PreK-9 school and the developmental appropriateness of how we configure middle school (grades 4-6) and upper school (grades 7-9).  The article asserts a supportive statement about our advisor program in grades 4-9, wherein each student has a dedicated teacher that meets with them regularly to help them navigate program expectations while attending to the social dynamics of their class.

“While policymakers and researchers alike have focused on improving students’ transition into high school, a new study of Florida schools suggests the critical transition problem may happen years before, when students enter middle school.  The study, part of the Program on Education Policy and Governance Working Papers Series at Harvard University, found that students moving from grade 5 into traditional middle schools (grades 6-8) show a “sharp drop” in math and language arts achievement in the transition year that plagues them as far out as 10th grade. “I don’t see eliminating the transition at the high school level as important or beneficial as eliminating the transition at the middle school level,” said Martin R. West, an assistant education professor at the Harvard Graduate School of Education and a co-author of the study.

The onset of puberty can exacerbate normal transition problems for younger students, according to Patti Kinney, an associate director of middle-level services at the National Association of Secondary School Principals, in Reston, Va. “You’re looking at students making a transition during a time when tremendous physical, cognitive, and emotional transitions are going on at the same time,” Ms. Kinney said. “There’s a wide variety of maturation among different children at that level.”

A NASSP book, Breaking Ranks, on improving student achievement in middle grades calls for schools serving those grades to provide each student with a “personal adult advocate” to help him or her understand the changing academic requirements and social dynamics. “It is easy for those who don’t work regularly with middle-level students to forget that 6th graders are only five or six years removed from their teddy bears,” Breaking Ranks notes, and “those who do work with middle-level students sometimes forget that, by the time students leave ‘the middle,’ the rigors of college are only four short years away.”

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Using tissue paper collage, Kindergarten teacher Andrea Patel created this work of art with her students in 2005, many of whom are currently in Sixth Grade.  Each child wrote the word “peace” in a different language, and the Earth was decorated with white peace doves.  Every year since then, each kindergarten class has added new expressions of peace, in different languages, to their “peaceful world.”  The children express greetings to one another in these languages during their December Morning Meetings.  Now there are 55 different languages represented in the work of seven different kindergarten classes!

Thank you for sharing your children and your dreams for them with all of us at Berkshire Country Day School.  On behalf of the faculty and staff at BCD, I send best wishes to everyone for joyful holidays, a relaxing vacation, and a peaceful New Year!  We look forward to welcoming everyone back on Tuesday, January 3^rd, 2012.

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One of the joys of my job is to witness the work of others and to appreciate their individual commitment to communicating what they believe is important.  During the past few days, Associate Heads of School, Paul Frantz and Carmen Dockery Perkins, and Amy Elmore, Director of Development, have each blogged about something that they have noticed, valued, or thought about regarding BCD.  I’m hopeful that you already have subscribed to their respective blogs.  If not, please take a moment to review their recent posts:

Paul Frantz’s post on “Cooperation: Creating a Culture of Caring and Learning” at http://mybcd.org/mrfrantz/

Carmen Dockery Perkins announcement about the upcoming Sixth Grade play, “Just a Name” at http://mybcd.org/cdp/

Amy Elmore’s reflections about speaking with children and “Fostering Generosity” at http://mybcd.org/development/2011/12/13/fostering-generosity/

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Dear Parents,

I write to ask you to provide important input as Berkshire Country Day School prepares for its reaccreditation by the New England Association of Schools and Colleges (NEASC).  We are proud to be the only PK-9 school in Berkshire County that is fully accredited by NEASC, as this signifies that the quality of our programs and practices meet rigorous standards.  NEASC is “dedicated to fostering educational excellence and institutional improvement in New England independent schools and to honoring their diversity.”

The full accreditation review process occurs every ten years and is structured around carefully thought-out standards, self-evaluation, peer-review, and follow-up.  To prepare for the review and campus visit by a NEASC accreditation team, we will first reflect on our programs and identify areas to strengthen.  We will then assess ourselves against an extensive series of standards to ensure that we are implementing best practices in every area. This is a wonderful opportunity for BCD to evaluate its programs and policies while setting goals for future improvement.

In the preparatory phase of this self-study process, we are gathering a range of data including surveying parents, faculty, and students to receive their feedback and thoughts about a number of areas.  The results of these surveys will be compiled and given to the several self-study committees as background information to inform their discussions and reports.  The link to the parent survey will be sent to you via email today.  Please complete this brief survey by Friday, December 16.

I will continue to share information about the accreditation process through to its conclusion in the Spring of 2013.  Thank you in advance for your invaluable participation in this process.

Sincerely,

Paul Lindenmaier, Head of School

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             In a recent article in Perspectives, Massachusetts educator/author John D’Auria suggests four proficiencies that students will need to be “nimble learners responding to challenges and opportunities that none of us can foresee”:

            • Seeking out diverse perspectives – “Too often, we gravitate toward like-minded people,” says D’Auria, “a behavior that insulates us from expanding our perspective… Preparing for a global society requires that we become curious about how others think.”  It also helps to learn another language.

            • Valuing emotional insights – “Recent research into emotional intelligence helps us to appreciate that emotions often contain important data,” says D’Auria, “information that our cognitive processes are slower to grasp…  Emotional connectivity also links us to other human beings, even when we cannot speak their language.”

            • Embracing creativity – “The global economy thrives on inventive thinking,” he says.  “We need to value creative skills and develop them in our students.  This should not be the domain of a ‘talented’ few” – nor should it be buried in test preparation.

            • Developing a growth mindset – Students will need to be continuous learners, which requires perseverance and resilience in the face of unknowable challenges and setbacks, says D’Auria.  He believes educators need to explicitly teach Carol Dweck’s key insights – that intelligence and talent develop through working hard using effective strategies.  “We need to provide time and support for our students to value experimentation and strengthen their capacity to learn from mistakes,” he concludes.  “Though errors, failure, and setbacks are not what we seek, we need not fear them, and we should learn to recycle them into new learning.”

“Preparing Our Students for Global Citizenship” by John D’Auria in Perspectives, Fall 2011 Article summary prepared by Kim Marshall (Harvard University, The Marshall Memo), shared with permission.

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Recently, BCD trustees Paige Orloff and Tom O’Neil and I attended the annual Governance Conference hosted by the Association of  Independent Schools in New England.  Pat Bassett, President of the National Association of Independent Schools (NAIS) presented an inspiring and informative talk.  Mr. Bassett recommended a book by Richard Weissbourd, The Parents We Mean To Be: How Well-Intentioned Parents Undermine Children’s Moral and Emotional Development.

“Harvard psychologist Richard Weissbourd argues incisively that parents–not peers, not television–are the primary shapers of their children’s moral lives.  And yet, it is parents’ lack of self-awareness and confused priorities that are dangerously undermining children’s development.  Through the author’s own original field research, including hundreds of rich, revealing conversations with children, parents, teachers, and coaches, a surprising picture emerges.  Parents’ intense focus on their children’s happiness is turning many children into self-involved, fragile conformists.  The suddenly widespread desire of parents to be closer to their children–a heartening trend in many ways–often undercuts kids’ morality.  Our fixation with being great parents–and our need for our children to reflect that greatness–can actually make them feel ashamed for failing to measure up.  Finally, parents’ interactions with coaches and teachers–and coaches’ and teachers’ interactions with children–are critical arenas for nurturing, or eroding, children’s moral lives.  Weissbourd’s ultimately compassionate message–based on compelling new research–is that the intense, crisis-filled, and profoundly joyous process of raising a child can be a powerful force for our own moral development.”  Better World Books

“In a voice that is once rigorous and passionate, tough and generous, pragmatic and prophetic, Richard Weissbourd explores the tender and treacherous work of moral mentoring and produces a wise and penetrating book that is useful to all parents who are responsible for guiding their children through the minefields between right and wrong.”  Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot

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I am pleased to announce that longstanding BCD faculty member Jim Fawcett has been elected to the Lenox School Hall of Fame.  In addition, the Lenox School Alumni Association (LSAA) has decided that they will fund an annual scholarship at BCD, to be called the G. James Fawcett Award.  This scholarship will be awarded in Mr. Fawcett’s name as long as the Lenox School Alumni Association exists.

“Jim Fawcett graduated from Harvard in 1962, and joined the Lenox faculty in 1963, 48 years ago.  Between 1963 and 1970 he taught English and coached at Lenox.  After leaving Lenox he taught for seven years at South Jr. High School, in Pittsfield, and joined the faculty of Berkshire Country Day School, where he still teaches, in 1978.  He currently teaches and serves as chair of the English department.  Along the way, and during his Lenox School days, he served six years in the Army Reserve, and also earned a Masters Degree from Wesleyan.” (provided by the LSAA)

A current Trustee shared the following after visiting Mr. Fawcett’s classroom earlier this month: “Sitting in the legendary Mr. Fawcett’s room today, I was ignited!  Beginning his lesson with a few slides of iconic sculptures, within moments he helped a group of 8th grade students discover connections between art, fiction, film – even the beloved Iliad!  I turned to a fellow Board member and asked, “Does it make you want to be back in school?”  More important than my own engagement with the lesson, I was thrilled to witness children who were fully engaged in a high-level learning process, who were willing to raise their hands and offer their observations and hypotheses, and whose minds were audibly clicking, turning, bouncing, shouting!  Bravo and kudos to our faculty!”

Congratulations, and thank you, Mr. Fawcett!

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 I have been thinking about the impact of email communications between individuals at schools and how email now replaces a great deal of quality face to face and telephone communications.  Most e-communications at BCD relate to homework questions, school calendar information, family news, and important topics involving students.  If you should find yourself composing an email about a sensitive or more significant school matter that is more than three sentences long, I think it is appropriate and a good practice to use email to arrange a personal meeting or time to talk on the phone with the parties you are addressing.

It has been my experience that while email enables individuals to engage in back and forth dialogue, often rapid at times, email can become a problematic forum when parties are sharing complex thoughts, especially when an emotional under-tone is present.  It is difficult and/or impossible to interpret every word or nuance in most written communications of an important or sensitive nature.  Much can appear ambiguous, and messages can easily be misconstrued.  There is no way for the reader to check assumptions, interpret tone, observe nonverbal cues, or seek clarification or reassurances.

According to communication experts Daantje Derks and Arnold Bakker, “The fact that the how things are said part is missing in regular e-mail communication is not without consequences. In fact, this is likely to be a fertile ground for miscommunication and in particular not noticing that miscommunication. Humor and sarcasm, for example, is difficult to properly communicate by e-mail. The misunderstanding is usually that the sender thinks (s)he has sent a clear message, and the receiver does not interpret the message in the way the sender intended it.  This can lead to awkward situations, and miscommunication can be a source of stress.”

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